Good thoughts. I still think that men become men in a sense behind the biological realities of sex, but otherwise I agree with your point that men are meant to be fathers of some sort. Regarding fatherhood, I noticed that many things which used to matter so fiercely matter less compared to my kids. So there’s something to be said for childless men doing great things in their life because they care more. Family men, unless you’re wired differently, have too much to lose, and only so much time, and thus spend it with children.
Regarding so-called masculinity influencers, I’m mixed because not all are promoting being a woman-hating man-whore. Some of the advice, like “Lift, control your emotions, be reliable, and get good at something useful” is really good, and is advice that many boys and young men AREN’T getting from ANYONE.
I’d like to read more of your thoughts on this topic. Good stuff.
You are absolutely right that there is a sense of someone “becoming a man” beyond the biological sense. It’s fine if it’s taken in a manner of speaking sort of way. That’s why I gave the caveat that there are things that men should and shouldn’t do. I think the problem comes when people mistake someone “not being a good man” as someone “not being a man at all”. People often conflate those two. For example, I heard a well known red-pill guy making a distinction between a “man” and a “male”. IOW, if you do these things you are a “man”, but if you don’t you’re a “male”. It’s emasculating, if you ask me (as if guys don’t go through enough of that in modern society already). I know that may sound like semantics, but I do believe that it’s important. What is a man? If what defines a man is a set of behaviors, then why can’t a woman who “acts like a man” be a man? Thus, a “trans-man” is a man by that definition. But if sex is something that you are, not just biological but also beyond, then it doesn’t matter what you do. You’re still a man. Now whether or not you’re a good man, that’s a different question altogether.
I hope I’m making sense here since I’m kind of shooting from the hip right now.
As for the masculinity influencers, I admit that I might be a bit too harsh. Some of them did give advice that is unfortunately is hard to find elsewhere, as you said. But I think even the better ones come across as folks who take advantage of a terrible situation, like Crassus’ fire department putting out fires in Ancient Rome but only if said homeowner would sell the home to the guy. Harsh? Possibly, but that’s the conclusion I came to based on my observations.
Ironically, when I think of people who give the best “masculinity” advices, it’s those who don’t brand themselves as such.
Also, I'm glad you enjoyed this little article I wrote in a whim. Much appreciated.
We have our evolutionary instincts, and we can't deny that. But as humans are getting more civilized we are detouring from them. Maybe I should have used 'moving away' instead of 'detouring', but you got what I'm trying to say. That shall not be considered a bad thing to say. We're creatures who mend and bend nature. We shall embrace that.
Another thing that might be connected to this all is the growth in loneliness. I feel lonely, and I also feel the need to give love. This love doesn't have to be for a child, might also be for someone else.
Good thoughts. I still think that men become men in a sense behind the biological realities of sex, but otherwise I agree with your point that men are meant to be fathers of some sort. Regarding fatherhood, I noticed that many things which used to matter so fiercely matter less compared to my kids. So there’s something to be said for childless men doing great things in their life because they care more. Family men, unless you’re wired differently, have too much to lose, and only so much time, and thus spend it with children.
Regarding so-called masculinity influencers, I’m mixed because not all are promoting being a woman-hating man-whore. Some of the advice, like “Lift, control your emotions, be reliable, and get good at something useful” is really good, and is advice that many boys and young men AREN’T getting from ANYONE.
I’d like to read more of your thoughts on this topic. Good stuff.
You are absolutely right that there is a sense of someone “becoming a man” beyond the biological sense. It’s fine if it’s taken in a manner of speaking sort of way. That’s why I gave the caveat that there are things that men should and shouldn’t do. I think the problem comes when people mistake someone “not being a good man” as someone “not being a man at all”. People often conflate those two. For example, I heard a well known red-pill guy making a distinction between a “man” and a “male”. IOW, if you do these things you are a “man”, but if you don’t you’re a “male”. It’s emasculating, if you ask me (as if guys don’t go through enough of that in modern society already). I know that may sound like semantics, but I do believe that it’s important. What is a man? If what defines a man is a set of behaviors, then why can’t a woman who “acts like a man” be a man? Thus, a “trans-man” is a man by that definition. But if sex is something that you are, not just biological but also beyond, then it doesn’t matter what you do. You’re still a man. Now whether or not you’re a good man, that’s a different question altogether.
I hope I’m making sense here since I’m kind of shooting from the hip right now.
As for the masculinity influencers, I admit that I might be a bit too harsh. Some of them did give advice that is unfortunately is hard to find elsewhere, as you said. But I think even the better ones come across as folks who take advantage of a terrible situation, like Crassus’ fire department putting out fires in Ancient Rome but only if said homeowner would sell the home to the guy. Harsh? Possibly, but that’s the conclusion I came to based on my observations.
Ironically, when I think of people who give the best “masculinity” advices, it’s those who don’t brand themselves as such.
Also, I'm glad you enjoyed this little article I wrote in a whim. Much appreciated.
We have our evolutionary instincts, and we can't deny that. But as humans are getting more civilized we are detouring from them. Maybe I should have used 'moving away' instead of 'detouring', but you got what I'm trying to say. That shall not be considered a bad thing to say. We're creatures who mend and bend nature. We shall embrace that.
Another thing that might be connected to this all is the growth in loneliness. I feel lonely, and I also feel the need to give love. This love doesn't have to be for a child, might also be for someone else.